Eagle watching

Essex season preview at Third Umpire. Have some of that.

Essex 2010 season review

Gravity had its way in the end. In answer to the question of whether Essex could maintain their heady Division One status for the first time, Paul Grayson's side eventually responded with a fairly emphatic 'no'. The magnetic pull of the second tier has now claimed Essex three times out of three in seasons following successful promotion campaigns.

Ultimately we finished bottom, some 30 points from safety, after losing four of our last five Championship matches - a quite disastrous run that included twin defeats to Warwickshire, who dragged themselves off the foot of the table to finish sixth. In one of those odd little sequences that cricket sometimes throws up, Warks scored 155 in all four innings against Essex, twice to win by seven wickets in the second dig. Swap those results around and it would most likely have been the Bears, rather than the Eagles, who went down.

Having gutsed it through the first half-and-a-bit of the season (with 78 points from nine games), a thumping victory over the eventual champions, Notts, and a creditable draw against Yorks left Essex with 107 points and eyeing survival. Then came that sequence of defeats - four in a row that sealed relegation - and a final-round draw with Durham (where probable victory was eschewed in favour of preparation for the CB40 semi-finals). Five matches, 19 points. It was a miserable way to go.

The most obvious problem, apart from unsuccessful tilts at two one-day trophies (last-four exits came against Hampshire on T20 finals day and Somerset in the aforementioned CB40), was an extra-crumbly batting line-up. From those last seven County Championship fixtures, half of the 14 innings ended with Essex all out for less than 200; their highest total was 399 (so no maximum batting points, then) but 300 was only passed three times.

In the T20 era, seeing out the overs in which batting bonus points are scored (the first 110) seems tough enough for most teams, let alone getting near the 400 required for a maximum of 5 points. While most Division One counties averaged between 2.5 and 3 bonus points from their bowling (Warks, the best in 2010, took 47 from a possible 48; Durham's 39 was the least) only one side regularly took 3 batting points from their matches - Somerset, who play at batsman-friendly Taunton, scored 53 from a maximum of 80. The decline in ability to amass consistently high first-innings totals is worthy of further investigation (it's a project I hope to get round to) but even in a weakened market, Essex were under-powered.

As was the case at around the year's halfway mark, James Foster was the team's standout batsman but his performances dipped slightly after taking on the captaincy from Mark Pettini. Foster's 839 runs at 32, whilst leading the side and keeping wicket, put him level with Jaik Mickleburgh (839 @ 29.96), whose season should be viewed as a success despite a similar tailing off. Matt Walker, who I suggested was key to Essex's survival hopes, ended with 782 at 39, though his one ton came in the dead game against Durham. Tom Westley (440 @ 25.88), who I also had high hopes for, managed a meagre 100 runs from five appearances during the run-in.

Pettini, meanwhile, had his worst season since being handed the captaincy in early 2007, after Ronnie Irani's sudden retirement, totalling just 599 runs at a shade under 25, with two fifties and no hundreds. Injury restricted Ryan ten Doeschate to 11 appearances, meaning the Dutch Saffer could only muster 577 at 34. Billy Godleman (532 @ 26.60) was too inconsistent; Ravi Bopara (550 @ 42.30) and Alastair Cook (474 @ 39.50) too often on international duty to sufficiently bolster Essex's totals.

Mediocre performances and a constantly changing top order fed into one another to further undermine the batting. Only Foster played in every match, with Pettini and Mickleburgh making 15 starts (out of 16); six other batsmen, not including the allrounder Ten Doeschate, made between six and 11 appearances. There were six different opening partnerships used over the course of the season (Goldeman-Maunders, Godleman-Cook, Godleman-Mickleburgh, Westley-Mickleburgh, Mickleburgh-Cook and Pettini-Mickleburgh); and while seven batsmen scored hundreds, only Bopara managed more than one (two, to be precise). Failing to find a settled line-up made for a disjointed and often messy showing.

Essex's bowlers, by contrast, faired pretty well against higher-calibre opponents. Since David Masters arrived to lead the attack three years ago, our bowling unit has improved to the point where it is a real wicket-taking force ... though I guess skittish batting throughout the game, as mentioned above, could also be a factor. What used to be a weakness is now a strength (we certainly held our own in the top division), but it's a shame that the renaissance has coincided with a gradual hollowing out of the side's batting.

Masters was almost an ever-present, and his 53 wickets at 23 from 14 matches represented a career-best season's return. At 32, he's developing into just the sort of knowledgable, canny opening bowler that Essex have needed since Darren Gough ended his three-year stint down south in 2006 - or even since the days of Ashley Cowan and Mark Ilott.

Masters was the only man to meet bowling coach Chris Silverwood's target of 50 Championship wickets, but there were still decent returns for Maurice Chambers (32 @ 25.81) and Chris Wright (31 @ 37.29) - though Wright, like Walker with the bat, achieved his best innings analysis (5-70) in the final game of the season. Chambers in particular is capable of devastating spells these days and his workload has been increasing encouragingly year-on-year. Tony Palladino (18 @ 27.72) chipped in with his usual end-of-season cameo - when will the boy be available for a whole summer?! - while Ten Doeschate's medium pace (27 @ 26.51) was as effective as ever before his injury.

In the spin department, Danish Kaneria was disappointing - though with all the match-fixing rumours swirling around both him personally and the Pakistan team in general, it is understandable that he was affected. Nevertheless, his 23 wickets at nearly 33 runs apiece represented his worst Essex return in six seasons. Tim Phillips (20 @ 37.60) was useful, while Westley (6 @ 29) also turned his arm over on occasion. In a season that featured several middling overseas signings (think Dwayne Bravo's costly T20 finals appearance or Chris Martin's 1-84 after visa trouble delayed his arrival) Bryce McGain was a colourful two-match presence, taking 10 wickets at 26, including an eventful 5-151 from 30-odd overs against Kent.

All of which is to say: things could have gone better. Disappointingly, I failed to make a single day's play on our return to Division One of the Championship, my County Ground attendance record limited to a Pro40 win over Middlesex. Still, the place should look largely the same next season as the development of the stadium is unlikely to start this winter, despite planning permission finally being secured.

So, it's back to the comfy sofa of the second tier. It may be beer stained and poorly upholstered but there's always the possibility of finding a couple of quid down the back. See you there ...

Essex's Division One odyssey

So, after nine games, more than half of the season gone, how are the Eagles faring against the big boys? A seven-year absence from county cricket's top tier always meant Essex would face a challenge to adapt to what is undoubtedly a stronger division (the gap is more pronounced now than it was the last time we bobbed up) but a competitive and sometimes chaotic campaign so far means hopes of survival will linger beyond the mid-summer Twenty20 break.

After a thrilling last-over victory against Hampshire, the reigning champions Durham were lucky to escape with a rain-influenced draw ... Then came crushing defeats to Lancashire and Yorkshire, sandwiching an enervating draw on the Taunton road. Since then, draws have ruled the results column, with the weather intervening twice to Essex's detriment (when well-placed against Notts and almost certainly denying victory against Lancs) and once in their favour, in this week's shaky draw against Hants.

There have been solid contributions throughout the squad but, as yet, no one has produced the stellar performances that will be required to fight off relegation. Even Ryan ten Doeschate, currently leading the PCA's Most Valuable Player rankings, has still to score a Championship century and he seemed to struggle to at the Rose Bowl (six and nought with the bat and bowling figures of 1-96) - though he has admitted to fatigue being a factor for the team after playing more games than anyone else in the division so far.

David Masters (29 @ 26) continues to lead the attack with aplomb (he's now taken more than 100 wickets at around 25 in less than three seasons at Essex) but Chris Wright has managed just 18 @ 44 despite being the second most-used bowler. Maurice Chambers (19 @ 26) looks to be fit again and, on the back of a five-wicket haul against Hampshire, could be an important figure in the second half of the season. Ten Doeschate (25 @ 27), whose burst in the first game sealed the Eagles' only victory so far, and Ravi Bopara will also have to keep chipping in, as Danish Kaneria's impact is likely to be limited by Pakistan commitments over the summer.

With the bat, James Foster is the leading run-scorer (518 @ 39), while 20-year-old Jaik Mickleburgh is currently averaging nearly 35, with one big hundred, against Durham, to his name. Captain Mark Pettini (379 @ 31) passed fifty for the first time in his 13th innings (though again missed out on a hundred after falling for 96) against Nottinghamshire, while Billy Godleman (350 @ 29) seems to have lost his place after a promising start.

Much may depend on the form and fitness of Matt Walker (331 @ 55) and the continued development of Tom Westley (337 @ 48). Both have only managed four games out of nine, with Walker troubled by a calf problem, but I reckon their contributions could be crucial to the Essex top order. Westley's new-look opening partnership with Mickleburgh is one of youth and promise (at 21, Westley averages 33.66 with two Championship hundreds), while the experience of the 36-year-old Walker will further stiffen the batting. Here's hoping that Bopara, with an eye on an England spot for the Ashes, proves his class in Division One too.

Essex are, of course, the imposters at the party. In the 10 completed seasons since the creation of the two-tier system, Essex have spent two in the top half, ending up relegated both times. Their eight opponents this year (Notts, Yorkshire, Lancs, Somerset, Kent, Durham, Hants, Warks) have all spent at least five years in Division One. At this altitude, the Eagles aren't yet fully fledged birds of prey.

That said, the division looks as if it will be tightly contested from top to bottom, perhaps as a result of all the counties looking to fit a larger slice of T20 pie on their plates. Durham, champions for the last two years, have managed just two wins from seven, while their successors (assuming there is no north-east revival) look likely to come from the pack of four at the top: Notts, Yorks, Somerset or Lancs. Essex will need to outlast two from Hants, Warks and Kent in order to beat the drop.

Between now and August, Essex will play only two Championship games - against the pace-setting Nottinghamshire and Yorkshire. That means the last six weeks of the season, which include a double-header against Warwickshire, will be crucial in determining whether Essex can cling on to top-flight status for the first time. Give it three months and we'll know whether the Eagles are still soaring ...

Ambrose selection is a fig leaf

Following on from the sentiments expressed below, the Wisden Cricketer have kindly allowed me to expound the point a little further, here; with less of an overt Essex bias, obviously.

Fostering discontent

James Foster's omission from the England touring party to India was to be expected. Peter Moores has been inking the names of Matt Prior and Tim Ambrose onto his team sheets for too long now just to abandon the habit at the click of a ball-point pen. But the question of why Foster continues to be overlooked for the role of wicketkeeper certainly bears some examination; and may yet prove pivotal for an England coach still to entirely win over his observers.

It can't be that his glovework isn't up to spit: last week Jack Russell described Foster as the best keeper in the world. And it ought not be his batting, which this season averaged a more-than-healthy 50.66 in the Championship; and comes in at a non-too-shabby 35.34 over the course of his career. He's performed in Tests before, so we know a bit about his temperament on the international stage. And he isn't a loose cannon or a rogue factor, prone to outbursts and boughts of ill temper - he appears a fairly genial, down to earth fellow, who is currently Essex's vice captain.

What, then, is the barrier to his inclusion? After being anointed Alec Stewart's heir apparent as long ago as 2001, Foster's handful of Test appearances stalled with a single Ashes cap on the winter tour of 2002/03. At this juncture, there were still evident weaknesses in his game - as a batsman he was green, and his ability behind the stumps was considered functionary rather than spectacular. However, six English summers of phlegmatic self-improvement have elevated Foster - in terms of professional aptitude - far beyond the promising 21-year-old handed Stewart's now-mythical gauntlet.

As Foster learnt to stand up to the wicket to Essex's battery of medium pacers, and perfected his stumping technique, Chris Read returned to the national frame - some time after a less than successful debut of his own. Geraint Jones, his buccaneering batting style another weapon that Foster was carefully crafting, then became the man in possession, until handling errors and a mental fragility finally let him down. And now, as Moores toys with his former Sussex wickies, Ambrose and Prior, Foster continues to be overlooked.

Maybe Foster has failed to produce the consistently eye-catching feats required to prick the selectors into action. Certainly, a more impressive knock in this season's Friends Provident Trophy final wouldn't have done his chances any harm - his scratchy 18 was no sparkler, despite it coming in the biggest partnership of Essex's innings: 68 with match-winner Grant Flower. Then again, a double century last summer against Notts went by largely unnoticed - as did Read's in the same game. Two wicketkeepers scoring 200 in a match, and still the selectors plough their south coast furrow?

We are told that there are seasoned eyes and ears amongst Geoff Miller's scouting network, who scour the county circuit, separating out raw talent from the rest of the dreck. If so, how can Foster have been missed again? The recalled Prior looks to have at least brought his gloves with him this time, but Ambrose had a woeful summer, in front of and behind the timbers. Dropped catches and missed stumpings will cost England against Australia next summer, if not before, but the national hierarchy's prevarication over their wicketkeeping requirements appears to have given bat the whip hand over glove once again. That said, there can surely no longer be any doubt over Foster's competency with the blade...

Essex coach Paul Grayson has voiced his disappointment, yet the facts remain: Foster should be in the England set-up, but he isn't. The longer that aberration is allowed to stand, the worse things may get for Moores.

Napier rising for T20 finals day

Well folks, it's time for the summer hit'n'giggle bonanza, three 20-over thrashes, with untold riches the reward for the victor. Obviously I'll be 'woop-wooping' for the Eagles when they kick-off today's Twenty20 finals, and hoping they can overcome the reigning champions Kent in the first match. Although the last time I saw the two sides play, at Beckenham a month ago, we were treated to an absolute spanking...

Anyway, on the subject, and with particular reference to Graham Napier, I've managed to inveigle some more Essex propaganda onto a respected website, namely the Wisden Cricketer. So, if an account of Napier's fall and rise tickles your pickle, then follow the hyperlink road.

Graham 'Napalm Death' Napier

Two weeks ago it was Ravi Bopara - this time it was Essex's lesser-known allrounder Graham Napier out in the middle, detonating the ball to all parts of the ground. His 152 from just 58 balls may well have been touched by the kind of fortune that only comes to those who truly 'give' themselves to the slog (as well as blessed by the short boundaries at Chelmsford), but it certainly served notice of the often-elusive potential that Essex-goers have been aware of for some time.

In my preview of Essex's 2008 fortunes, I suggested that this could be a watershed year for Napier, after the period he spent in New Zealand over the winter. There, whilst playing club cricket for Upper Valley, he was called into Wellington's side for the State Twenty20 and State Shield (50 over) competitions, at one point sharing the batting with former Kiwi captain Stephen Fleming. The hard yards of wintering abroad were described on Napier's Essex blog, and it's a good indication of how seriously he's perhaps beginning to view his cricketing career. In Kiwi, he picked up a first ever hat-trick, on his was to 7-34 for Upper Valley; back on the county scene, and after a slowish start, he's managed to claim a world record for the number of sixes in an innings.

Whilst the carnage was being wreaked against Sussex, Sky's David 'Bumble' Lloyd mused that Napier had got himself fit, and was beginning to show the application required of a cricketer who wants to step his game up a level. He also suggested that England may well like to find a place for the Colchester-born 28-year-old at some point. As with Bopara, such predictions are generated as much by the heat of the crucible as the cold, hard facts. But then again, stranger things have happened (Paul Grayson in the Champions Trophy, for instance)...

Ravi runs away with it

Phenomenal. That's about the only way to describe Ravi Bopara's blistering double hundred against Leicestershire in the Friends Provident Trophy. I'd just tuned in to BBC Essex's streaming commentary when Ravi cleared the ropes for the tenth time, bringing up his 200 with one ball of Essex's innings remaining. This was astonishing not only because there have only ever been a handful of limited-over double hundreds, but also due to the fact that Ravi had reached a mere 150 about five overs beforehand, when I belatedly checked the score for the first time.

I remember noting Ravi's innings of 83 from 46 balls against Surrey in the Twenty20 Cup in my 2006 season review for Third Umpire. As luck would have it, Essex's next one day fixture will be at Surrey in the T20, and I'll be sitting in the Oval bleachers again, hoping for more of the same. There have been no less than forty hundreds scored in T20 competition, the highest being one of the most recent - Brendon McCullum's ferocious 158 not out in the IPL - so it's not beyond the realms of fantasy that the Eagles could be rocket-propelled towards another big total by Centurion Bopara; though another double looks unlikely.

As the BBC Essex commentators mulled the significance of Ravi's pyrotechnically accomplished knock, they immediately projected forward to him scoring bucketloads of runs in the one-dayers against New Zealand, and then doubtless returning to the Test side to face the Saffers. Caution should be preached, for now, as he has already received caps in both forms of the game, and ended up departing with them in hand. However, with such undoubted aggression, and his wristy, punchy stroke play, there's every reason to hope - particularly while England's middle order continues to suffer so excruciatingly...

Essex season preview

Time to prepare the wicker hamper and discuss the various merits of sticking it in short and hard once again... Yup, the Third Umpire county preview series is placing its mark, and I've contributed my Euro-fifty on Essex CCC's chances. No Vauxhall Novas or white stilettos, guaranteed...

Ronnie Irani: The lad done good

It's been a few days touched by sporting sadness for me - not least because Thierry Henry has departed for Catalunyan shores - but because it also seems that injury has cut short Ronnie Irani's final season at Essex.

Arriving in Chelmsford from the more northerly environs of Lancashire, Ronnie quickly established himself as a favourite at the County Ground - although he never did manage to shed his accent! A combative allrounder, he was the obvious choice to take on the captaincy in the wake of Paul Prichard's retirement and Nasser Hussain's increased commitment with England, and, I'm sure he'd be pleased to know, he always did us proud.

Whether he was bustling in to unleash his niggardly medium pace, or flaying the ball around at a fair old strike rate with willow in hand, his ability as a player was clear; despite never being quite able to translate this to the international arena. At his best as a one day player, he guided Essex to National League success in 2005 and 2006, as well as the last ever Benson and Hedges Cup final in 2002 (unfortunately not a great day out, as I remember). His strongest international analysis also came in the short form, with 5 for 26 and 53, in the same match against India.

It was as an increasingly accomplished batsman in the longer game that the last few seasons have been most notable for, however, as knee trouble forced the right-arm away swingers to be packed up in the kitbag for good. Performing solely in the top order from the 2004 season onwards, he consistently averaged around the 60 mark, and his bankability helped go a long way to making up for the loss of such stalwarts as Nasser Hussain, Paul Grayson and, more recently, Andy Flower. Before announcing his plans to retire at the end of this season, Reggie was averaging over a hundred, having hit a career-high score of 218 in the second game of the Championship at home to Glamorgan. Sadly, the knees couldn't quite make it.

With some of the young, talented players Essex have brought on recently, I'm not too worried about the batting (it looks like Grant Flower's staking his claim as 'veteran run-getter' at the moment too): it's more as a presence in and around the team that Irani will be chiefly missed. Always a jovial, friendly cricketer, his captaincy engineered us a few wins we might not otherwise have had, and his honesty and connection with the fans were much respected. I'll always enjoy the memory of his clobbering Shane Warne out of the ground in one Warney's first few games at Hampshire; as well as some of the thunderous strokes he employed in Essex's recent one day ascendency. But it's the simple, incongruous-sounding, familiar three sylables in the middle-order of the Essex scorecard that I'll pine for most of all.

Cheers, R. C., you done good.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder...

You know you've missed me. Particular hellos go out to regular readers, my Mum, Mrs Bescott from next door, and AndrogynousMel64. Since KP's wall-flower hundred against Australia irritated the hell out of me a lot of water's passed round the U-bend. So, let's dip into a delightful bag of pic'n'mix, shall we...?

World Cup Washout
The ICC Cricket World Cup West Indies 2007 - a name eloquently derided in Lawrence Booth's fantastic The Spin column - ended up being almost as long, unwieldy and exasperating as the formulation ICC CWC WI 2007 itself. Fifty-odd games, almost seven weeks, less than a handful of exciting finishes, and almost limitless shovel-loads of opprobrium. The messy whimper which signalled its close (the teams mistakenly forced back onto the pitch to play a final three overs in near total darkness) fairly well summed the tournament up; Oliver Brett delivers a pretty damning report.

Almost as saddening was the West Indies' decline - although their contribution to a thrilling final Super Six match against England went some way to showing how entertaining the tournament could have been. Brian Charles Lara will of course be sorely missed from the international arena, and even though my favourite memory of the man is still his falling for a first golden duck to Craig White's right-arm-around in 2000, it is a shame that his singular abilities could not be matched by his team mates in the twilight of his career. It will be with a wistful sigh that I next boot up Brian Lara Cricket for the Playstation.

County On Regardless
There is some succour, however, for lovers of the thud of ball on bat: the County Championship season is well and truly underway. As a dyed-in-the-wool Essex boy, I shall be casting judgement on Ronnie and lads over the course of the season (hopefully with some boundary rope analysis to supplement my avid Ceefax/web score-watching), and hopefully celebrating more success at the County Ground, Chelmsford. After an underwhelming draw against Derbyshire, I had begun to fear that taking wickets was again going to be a problem; and with Andy McGarry (young Essex paceman, who seemed to have left the game) re-registered for the first time since 2003 before the Glamorgan fixture, things didn't look great. But thanks to to some Danish Kaneria magic - and a little assistance from God Almighty (see the news archive for an interview) - a first, and emphatic, CC victory of the season was garnered. That's 19 wickets from two games for Kaneria, and once he's joined by Andre 'Angry' Nel, we should be firmly in the groove - even on early season featherbeds!

NB. Just in case there are any partisan McGarry fans out there, it's not that I don't rate him (I can remember a few decent wicket-taking performances from the early '00s), more that his return signals just how threadbare our pace resources are at the moment. No offence intended...

Where Eagles Dares
A stunning finish by Chris Eagles capped Man U's stirring comeback against Everton, and seemingly wrecked the Special One's hopes of bringing a third title to Stamford Bridge. After Mourinho's recent dyspepsia, I am more than happy to root for Ferguson and his devilishly good squad, despite a historic antipathy for Manchester's red half. United have been this season's thoroughbreds, playing the best football the Premiership has seen since Arsenal's invincible campaign three years back, and while Chelsea's indefatigable spirit is praiseworthy, their manager's increasing petulance is less so. A spate of unedifying rants has seen Mourinho stand accused of 'doing a Keegan'; and it looks like Ferguson's mental resilience has done for his challenger once again. And who says he doesn't have the prettiest wife at home?

Which Leeds me onto...
Whilst Newcastle have at least retained top-flight status since their spontaneous combustion under Keegan, another former giant, who transformed Yorkshire grit into Champions League glamour, is on the verge of a catastrophic slide into English football's third tier. Leeds United were as good as handed their League One (old Division 2, old-old Division 3) registration forms yesterday, as a late equaliser for Ipswich left the White Rose three points and nine goals from safety, with just a game to play.

A school friend of mine - stand up Safari Dan - is a Leeds man, and for that reason alone I willed them not to fall out of the Premiership. Big spending during their brief tilt at Champions League glory had left them drastically top-heavy, and relegation saw them slowly dismembered by the bean counters. Their quixotic rise to the top unravelled as fast as the likes of Kewell, Viduka, Robinson and Bowyer could say 'pack my bags'. It's a harsh tale for Yorkshiremen and neutrals alike, and the scars still appear livid today.

Despite making the play-off final last year, more internal disharmony saw Kevin Blackwell, the man who almost took them back up, ousted, and an irregular duo of Dennis Wise and Gustavo Poyet brought in. The slide was never averted, however, and life outside the top two divisions for the first time in their history now seems a certainty. This is grand guignol theatre for the club's faithful (not least Safari Dan) - but they must look down the M62, towards the City of Manchester Stadium at Eastlands, for a glimmer of hope. In 1998 Manchester City became the first English winners of a European trophy to descend into the third division (Division 2), during a turbulent period in their history - just as Leeds were beginning their late nineties ascendancy, initially under George Graham, and then whole-heartedly under David O'Leary. If resurrection is to be achieved, then Leeds will have to find a resolve similar to that employed by City in their rise back to the Premiership; and a return for such a great club would surely be warmly welcomed around the country (perhaps excepting Manchester!)

Lost the pot?
And finally, in this hotch-potch of sporting analysis/gabble, a sideways glance at the Crucible, that theatre of respectfully silent sporting genius, where Stephen Hendry, ranked numero uno coming into the World Championship, seems set to depart the tournament in the second round, after scratching his way to just four frames out of 16 (best of 25) against Ali Carter.

Now, I only really get interested in poking small balls with big sticks once or twice a year [insert own joke here], and the championship in Sheffield is usually good for a bit of olde worlde entertainment. I say that, because with a large number of eighties bellwethers - Parrott and Davies in the arena; Virgo and White behind the mic - still on the scene, coupled with the generally somnolent atmosphere that pervades the hallowed arena, one can take in the action at a gentlemanly pace, undisturbed by changes of strip or the introduction of hawkeye to detect surreptitious double-hits. The only records likely to be broken are ones for extremely lengthy encounters - as happened in last year's final - and with regular repeats of Dennis Taylor manically gyrating, cue held aloft in victory, from 1985 (check out those bins by the way), you can virtually taste the sepia.

Yes, there is a respect for one's elders at the World Championship. Which is why I'm saddened to see Hendry getting whupped by young Carter (even though the lad's from Tiptree, home to Essex's finest jam-maker). But almost as ruffling is the absence of Dougie Donnelly as the BBC's anchor for its coverage. Hazel Irvine may have an appealing lilt to her voice too, but this break with tradition is most unwelcome. And while it mayn't be long before Hendry exchanges his potter for some patter in the world of punditry, surely there's still room for the Silken Scot (yes, I realise both Irvine and Hendry are Scottish as well) in the BBC SWC (British Broadcasting Corporation's Snooker World Championship) 2007 dramatis personae?

If someone could make it so, we'd be in Grade A Partridge territory: "In off the red!"