Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Hail the traveller

With the latch about to be safely shut on the transfer window for another five months, an interesting number of players in what would be kindly referred to as their dotage are off to pastures new - rather than being put out pasture once and for all. Clearly the Eels song 'Last Stop This Town' is not a record Andy Cole cares for...

In an age of greater career mobility, it should perhaps not be so surprising that many of the game's old stagers continue to seek out the next gig on the horizon. Teddy Sheringham, currently the oldest player in league football, could have retired happy when he hung up his Spurs shirt for the second time in 2003; but five years on, Sheringham is with his third club (his seventh in total), still knocking in the odd penalty for Colchester United.

Some credit is due to Teddy, however, as for all his years (41 and counting) he is no senescent chancer. No, despite his off-pitch antics with various glamour models, there are far more promiscuous footballers preying on unsuspecting clubs out there.

Take Jon Macken, for example, who, despite being only 30, has been loitering around for yonks. Some would say he was lucky to score a £5m pound move to Manchester City in 2002. Kevin Keegan, the Geordie Messiah who shelled out for Macken, may view himself as somewhat less lucky. After scoring just seven league goals in over 50 appearances for the Sky Blues, Macken's box of four-leaf clovers finally ran dry and he was shipped off to Crystal Palace in 2005. Since then he's played for three more clubs (Ipswich on loan, Derby and Barnsley, whom he signed for permanently a few days ago); yet he still hasn't scored more than four goals in a season since 2001/02.

Then there's the aforementioned Andrew Cole, one half of United's famous treble-winning strike force. Since leaving the red bit of Manchester behind in 2001, and putting in a few years at Blackburn (2001-2004), he's begun to take the piss a bit. He's flirted with Fulham (where he did at least net 12 times), Man City, Portsmouth, Birmingham, Sunderland, and now Burnley. The 36-year-old has pulled on the colours of three clubs in the past 12 months alone. Talk about growing old disgracefully.

While there were great nomads during the Premiership's salad days, they seem to pale in comparison with today's dirty old footballers. Tony Cottee turned out for Everton, West Ham and Leicester in the top flight, and in 2000 achieved the dubious distinction of playing in all four professional divisions in the same season. It was enough to make him retire.

Jari Ltimanen, who played for Liverpool during the 2001/02 campaign, has no such dignity. After three clubs in twelve years (two spells at Ajax, one each at Barca and Liverpool), Litmanen has now whored himself out to four different clubs in the last four seasons. He turned up on trial at Fulham this month patently no longer fit to put out the cones, let alone attempt neat one-twos for 90 minutes. But, with itinerant rent-a-coach Roy Hodgson, Litmanen has seemingly scored - even if he's unlikely to in front of the Craven Cottage faithful.

Fulham, it seems, just can't get enough sloppy seconds at the moment, with Daniel Cousin's transfer still hanging round the darker parts of Knightsbridge like a particularly desperate punter. The problem for Cousin is that he has already played for two other clubs this season: Lens and Rangers. Cue, a Fifa investigation. Well, if you're going to get a reputation for being a serial offender, then I guess you'll have to put up with being pulled in for questioning from time to time...

At 31, Cousin could yet go on to rack up some kind of record, given his current transfer rate. Whether this will be a good thing for football is a moot point, as with so many ageing pros putting it about, the transfer merry-go-round only looks like getting more and more sordid.

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